


After The Colour

by orphan_account



Category: My Little Pony: Equestria Girls
Genre: (platonic) - Freeform, Anorexia, Can someone put this on fimfiction and credit me i beg, Cutting, Gen, Guilt, Principal Celestia has confidential experiences with self-harm, Recovery, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Teacher-Student Relationship, They're all a mess, Vice-Principal Luna might know about Anorexia, post the first movie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 17:35:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16022693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Post EQG 1 Sunset cannot comprehend trying to mend her life. Luckily, the human 5 and her school authority don't seem to be okay with letting her wallow in misery.





	1. Chapter 1

Sunset refused to go back to school after.. The incident.

She flat out REFUSED.

She knew everypo- everyONE must hate her. And they had every right to - in fact she was acting selfish by hiding away. Didn't they at least deserve to take out their anger on her?

But as usual, Sunset was cowardly. And as she dug her fingernails into her wrist, she wondered where she could go from here.

Oh, she had a high chance of eventually returning to Canterlot High, but not anytime soon. She didn't know if she would be able to handle their rage filled stares, despite deserving them.

She pulled back the hand that had been pressed against her wrist, and bit her lip as she saw the grooves. Almost entranced, she slowly lowered her pointy nails back to it- and dragged across.

She was shocked from her reverie by a knock apon her door, causing her nail to slip and skid down her arm. She yelped at the torn white line and struggled to blink instinctive tears of shock away. 

Her home was a rather simple flat, only 3 rooms big, kitchen, bedroom, bathroom. She paid for it at first by the strips of money she had brought from Equestria, but after that had ran out, she resorted to more... Unsavoury methods such as theft, blackmail and... 'exposing herself' online.

She shuddered even thinking of it, though she knew she would have to do it again if she wished to save her flat and not be evicted.

The knocks sounded louder, and a concerned voice broke through. "Sunset Shimmer? You live here, correct?"

Shit, Principal Celestia! While less terrifying than her princess counterpart, the principal still managed to make Sunset feel intimidated.

"What do you want?!" the bacon-haired girl shouted, annoyed. She had only been absent from school for 2 days- Celestia had already come looking for her? How.. Paranoid.

"May i come in? I would like to talk with you."

Sunset deliberated but decided to just do as she asked, padding to her door and unlocking it, pulling back the dirty chain.

Her principal, still in her immaculate, never-bothered glory, calmly stepped into the room, this room being her kitchen, and pushed her shoes off. She looked at Sunset. "Is there anywhere for us to talk?"

The young girl shrugged. "I have, like... A chair, but then one of us would have to stand. There's my bed, but.. That would be awkward"

"Nonsense" Celestia smiled. "The bed will be fine. Please, lead the way"

Sunset swallowed and nodded, re-locking her door, wincing as her sleeve shifted to rub against the torn skin on her arm. Celestia noticed, but did not comment. She led her principal through to her room and sat down. "Alright Principal Celestia, what was so important you hunted down my adress?"

"Well, let's get the obvious out of the way" Celestia sighed. "You've missed school twice now, without any sign of a doctor's note or explanation"

"Explanation?" Sunny raised a brow. "Shouldn't that be obvious?"

"Somewhat, yes" Celestia nodded, looking faintly amused. "But offically it doesn't excuse it. I've marked your two off days as sick leave- but if you miss any more..?"

Sunset folded her hands in her lap, bending her head sheepishly. "I-i know. I'm just not ready right now. Maybe tomorrow.." ha, fat chance.

"And there's the matter of you illegally living alone, which i have just noticed now..." Celestia trailed off, causing Sunset to gulp. After seeing her downright terrified expression the rainbow-haired woman decided to postpone the chat for another day.

"The second reason that i initially came here is.." now the adult turned fully to face her, purple eyes glinting even in the dull lighting of the room. "I'm concerned for you"

The teenager blinked multiple times at this admission. "Concerned?"

Celestia reached to put her hand on Sunset's own, and the younger offered no resistance as her principal tugged her sleeve down. "Because of things like... Like this" she said softly, looking pointedly at the long line nearly trailing Sunset's wrist to elbow, accompanied by bruising grooves rimmed with purple and red.

Sunset flushed in shame and looked away. "It's hardly as much as i deserve.." she said softly, and Celestia shook her head sternly. "No, this is not the way to go about this. Crimes are punished by discipline and schooling - not by harming yourself. I suspected by your behaviour you might resort to this"

The redhead seemed to sink even further down, attempting to wrest her arm out of Celestia's. "Doesn't matter.." she mumbled.

Her principal seemed to hesitate before steeling herself and letting go of Sunset's hand, fingers trailing to the sleeve of her own blouse. Sunset watched in morbid curiosity as what always seemed like a pillar of authority pulled her sleeve down to reveal multiple faded cuts spanning her hand to just beyond her elbow, varying in size. 

"Setting down a path of self harm will not help you, Sunset. Please, take it from me. I do understand" Celestia said gently, and the younger girl couldn't help her fingers moving to trace the seemingly endless rows of lines, something in her throat catching. "I-i'm so sorry" she whispered, without knowing what she apologised for.

They just sat there in silence before the older woman finally withdrew and pulled her sleeve back down, and thus also her metaphorical sheild. "Let me help you - to come back to school and also to recover" she said gently.

Sunset felt tears build up in her eyes, and she hastily wiped them away. "B-but how?! I was awful to everyone- i destroyed their friendships- i hurt people!"

Celestia's hand ghosted over hers, and Sunset felt the other cup her chin to tilt her head. They made eye contact.

"I am very close to someone who made a very similar mistake to you. But when they saw their errors as they were and worked to change their ways, they truly managed to make up for what they had done. No one will ever forget about what you have done, but you must show that it was in the past and that you are a different person and willing to make up for it" Celestia finished by absently moving to push a strand of blue hair behind her ear.

Sunset shook before moving automatically to hug her principal around the waist, sobbing openly in a mix of releif and the sheer need to release the emotions she had been mostly restraining. Celestia's hand moved to rub her head comfortingly, and they stayed like that for several minutes until Sunset finally stopped crying.

"I should probably leave, my sister will be becoming concerned" Celestia said softly, fingers grazing Sunset's forehead affectionately before drawing away. "But please know that when you come back to Canterlot High i will be completely willing to aid your redemption - in any way you seek it"

The girl mutely nodded.

With that Celestia left, and her student was left sat on the end of her bed, tear tracks trailing her eyes to chin.


	2. Chapter 2

Sunset awoke sprawled on top of her sheets, one hand on her forehead and the other bent at an umcomfortable angle. She groaned and stretched, slight pain flooding her as her bones audibly popped.

She looked at her leather jacket lying on the floor in a heap along with her other clothing items, and debating going back to school.

To be honest... She still didn't want to go back. The prospect still utterly terrified her, and made her mind spin in anxiety-driven circles.

But remembering the gravity of her talk with Celestia... She couldnt help but feel obligated to go. Didn't she at least owe that to the headteacher- to show her that she did take in her advice and was ready to move forward?

Her mind couldn't help but flash to Celestia's arm, covered in scars, and wondered if her world's Celestia had ever resorted to self harm. She didn't seem like the type, but then again, neither had her principal counterpart...

Sunny buried her head in her hands and groaned, the sound an amalgam of a sigh and a moan of despair.

She sat there for a good half hour before settling apon her decision. Tugging the crumpled jacket over her shoulders, she ironed her resolve as she left her home and locked the door.

She wanted to at least try and redeem herself once. She wanted to show she had truly changed.

Inhaling sharply as she reached her destination a mere 20 minutes later, Sunset exhaled slowly and entered Canterlot High for the first time in 50 hours.

***

Sunset really should've expected to be tripped, but it hurt all the same.

Her face rebounded off a locker to smack against cold linoleum, and she had to take several moments to lie on the floor just to hold her head and whimper from the scalding pain.

Gilda stood behind her, a look of anger and satisfaction on her face. "That'll teach you to fuck with me... Freak" she hissed, before stomping off. Slowly standing up, Sunny let out short, choked gasps of agony, cradling her head as she stumbled to her first lesson.

While her first lesson had no such violence as she had faced in the halls, she still was subject to fierce scowls and spitballs for a good duration of the class. Her teacher noticed, but did not stop them.

Her nails dug curved lines into her wrist, and though she wanted to resist when she remembered Celestia's heartfelt message, the need became unbearable.

When lunchtime came up she fled to lock herself in a bathroon stall and pulled out a pencil sharpener and a small screwdriver, the screwdriver only there because of her past infiltrations of lockers.

Dismantaling the razor, she held it against her wrist.

She had done this before, a little after she had first fell into the world and was still feeling the dregs of guilt and remorse. It had been short and she had soon replaced it with bullying, of course, but her experience made her now completely fearless to act against herself.

She had made 4 lines before she felt too tired to continue, not just the negative emotions having been sucked away, but what felt like her soul.

She could still feel something, though. Disappointment. In herself. She tugged her sleeves down and headed back out.


End file.
